Good news everyone!

Hey! Looks like Jason Rosenhouse, of EvolutionBlog, has finally received tenure. Congrats.

So it is time for some fun.

Tenure!

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So there you go. Guess now I can tell you what I really think...

Uh oh!

What I Really Think

It's sweet. It's soooo sweet. All the years of hiding, of playing along, of pretending to be one of them, just to get to this point. How many times did I sit there during afternoon tea, throwing darts at the board with Michael Behe's face on it, laughing at their sick little jokes:

How many Creationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Creationists don't use lightbulbs. They prefer the Dark Ages!!

Hahahahahaha! Hey, that's a good one. Tell me that one about William Dumbski again...

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And what of my Seed overlords? Don't have blog tenure do I? Well, what about them? Let them fire me. Oh yeah, please, please, please throw me into that briar patch. I figure there'll be a nice little cameo for me in Expelled 2. Just picture it. Me in a suit, waxing philosophical on the horrors I'd seen. Vaguely bemused by the sheer injustice of it all. “All I did was suggest that maybe evolution wasn't the whole story, and they treated me like an intellectual terrorist! They wouldn't let me blog for them anymore, just because I had the audacity to dissent one whisker from their party line! Oh why oh why won't they let me and so many others just think the thoughts we want to think? Woe is me!”

Delicious. Go ahead, oppress me! I dare you!

So get ready for a whole new blog folks. We're really going to have some fun now....

And that is just classic. Brilliant!

Now for another example of this, if you are in the mood. Check out this great April Fools bit from The Two Percent Company. I tell you they had me part way through, but it was really a too perfect example of a fall into a religious quagmire.

A Moment to Reflect

You may have wondered where we were for the past few weeks. It's an interesting story, and one we want to share with you all. As we noted, we have been having numerous problems with our site lately, and that was the original reason for our absence. But as we were struggling with those problems, and becoming increasingly frustrated, a friend of ours stepped in and made a suggestion. It was simply this: rather than spending so much time and energy on fixing this site, why not put our efforts toward more worthwhile goals?

We were willing to try anything to get out from under the weight of our website problems, so we agreed. We ended up helping our friend coordinate a charity event that went very well, and we made a lot of new friends along the way. We're planning to do more charity work with his group in the future, and we're looking forward to it immensely. The surprising thing was that the charity event was coordinated via our friend's church. Now, we've always been clear that it is religion that we have a problem with and not necessarily religious people, but we were a little amazed at how decent and fun these people were.

To make a long story short, we've come to a realization. Although we don't believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible, and although we may not currently believe in the physical existence and divinity of Jesus Christ, we do recognize the good that the Christian religion can do, and we like being a part of that. There's simply no other source for good deeds that can equal the Christian church as far as we can see, and that means something. It's just something that we've been loathe to admit for a long time, apparently. And, whether he was real or fictional, Jesus was a pretty cool guy that we can all learn a lot from.

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Nah, we're just fucking with you. Other than our technical problems and the fact that not all religious people suck, everything else above was a crock of shit. In truth, our website problems have sucked up all of our time lately, and we've been banging our heads against these issues for weeks. In addition to the simple fact that troubleshooting has been a severe drain on our free time, there's also the fact that we have been trying to move the Rants to a new home. As such, every time a new post or comment was added, we had to re-backup the files — yet another reason for our relative silence since the beginning of the month.

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