I must be getting sick of this movie by now. ...Nope. Still love it. Love Pratchett's work. Love Discworld. Love the characters. And I always love the way this story, and others, look at our society.
Terry Pratchett's work and world is breathtaking to me. He takes fantasy tropes and makes them his own. Where else would you find a wizard and the first tourist riding on the back of a dragon that shouldn't exist, then find themselves as businessmen flying on an transatlantic flight, and then back to being a wizard and a tourist? No one else thinks like that.
And this movie does a wonderful job of maintaining so much of Pratchett's humor, logic, thoughts, and magic. So things had to go, and I miss them. But the choices do not fail the end result. Nearly 3 hours (it was originally shown over multiple nights on Sky TV in the United Kingdom) of good entertainment. A Death that you grow to love. Peril to fantasy beings you start caring about. And Susan kicking ass.
But now let's return to the story.
Still, first, here are the other parts of our blogging saga: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.
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Meanwhile, at Death Manor. |
Now I mentioned this in brief before, but the Discworld's Death has an amusing home. Pratchett borrowed for Death from the Ingmar Bergman film, The Seventh Seal. Death's look partially borrow's from it. And his realm is all in black and white, like the movie. People aren't, just the background.
Death also maintains and garden, and a wheat field. The wheat field is the result of a previous story, and the desire to remained tied to a life he briefly lived. (See the book Reaper Man if you are curious.)
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Death is complicated. In the house Death keeps mementos from his family, daughter and granddaughter. He isn't human, but he makes an effort to care in his own way. And as we'll see, he is bothered by inequity. But the rules of the anthropomorphic beings are tight, so he is constrained for the most part. (But he does find ways.)
Inside the great house, as Susan tries to reacquaint herself with the place. She sees so much of her past, like old pictures she drew as a child. Grandfather holds on to them, and keeps them at his desk.
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The Hogfather hasn't always been the Hogfather. In one way or another, he's been around since the dawn of humans on the Discworld (Like Death has.). First he was a great sacrifice to make the sun rise again, for another year. A great boar that was hunted down and killed, and offered for a new warmer year. Blood on the snow. Or, lore shared about a boar dying and leading to the sun coming back.
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Then he became a god, worshiped and prayed to, so the winter would end, the sun would return, and a new day would dawn.
Then, one day, people worked out that the sun seemed to come around pretty regularly, and why did they need sacrifices or a god for it? So, when people continued his pageantry and festivities, he became the earliest incarnation of the Hogfather, and has evolved ever since. From sacrifice to gift giver.
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Susan resolved to reach the Castle of Bones (the residence of the Hogfather) to find any trace of the Hogfather there. So she takes up her grandfather's sword, which he apparently returned (I'm guessing he did it to be sure she had a family tool for her work that night.). Then she gets on old Binky (Death's horse), and rides for the hub, and the the Castle of Bones.
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Susan vs. Superman. Yeah, I'd pay to see that. |
She makes her search, moving through the great edifice. But nothing is left, except traces of Albert smoking there.
Then, the place begins to collapse. Larger and larger pieces of the walls and ceiling begin to come apart.
And while she is making her way out, she finds a head sticking out of the snow. It's a man, in a white toga with a golden laurel around his head.
Meet Bilious, the Oh God of Hangovers.
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But it's coming apart all around her, more and more. It won't be long until it will nothing but a pile of snow and ice.
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Ridcully, the Archchancellor, goes to check. But as he looks through the peephole, Susan just passes through the door, Bilious over her shoulder.
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"Hello. I'm Death's granddaughter, this is a god over my shoulder, and I need a wizard. Any questions?" |
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They agree to help, and get to work, Of course most of that work is arguing. Which cure? Some don't seem good. Others will most likely kill (or turn him into a beaker of goo).
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How do you feel? It must be great to be sober, every once in a while. Or, even, every 12 years. -- Yeah, I do Father Ted jokes sometimes. |
Finally Ridcully decides the best option is to take all the cures and mix them together. It sounds mad, but they figure that if Bilious really is a god, it can't kill him. The result is an explosive green concoction, that when finished knocks Ridcully back against the wall. Still, Bilious is eager to drink it.
Bilious is the Oh God of Hangovers. This means he's constantly drunk and sick, with a pounding head. Even if the cure kills, he'll be happy.
He drinks up the cure and finds that it's worked. And he's thrilled, so thrilled he wants to drink and see what it's like to get drunk.
Now in the books, in part, Bilious is naturally affected by merriment around him. People near that drink, cause him to become hungover. But, largely, he's being hit by the God of Wine. The Wine God is constantly drinking and partying, and not feeling the worse for it. That's because of Bilious, who takes the punishment.
This cure Bilious took has had a side effect. It has reversed the rules. Now all of Bilious's sickness is being shunted back to the God of Wine, who's presently getting sick over everyone, where he is.
So Bilious partially wants to drink up to stick it to the Old God of Boozing.
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They decide it is time to see if Hex (the artifical brain/smartest person in the world) is warned up enough to answer some questions.
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This Harry Potter and Dumbledore panto isn't working for me. |
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And the Hair Loss Fairy strikes. It, like the others, had no idea where it came from.
Susan asks Bilious where he was just before he had been found by her. And he explains he was anywhere people were getting sloshed.
He was a eminent vital force. He was where all hangovers were occurring across the Discworld. And then hangovers were given a human form.
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Strangest Muppet Christmas ever. |
Knowing this, one wizard wonders about an Eater of Socks. The bell rings again, and most of the wizards race off to the laundry to look for the new creation.
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This is all the information Susan needs, and she heads off. Bilious follows, eager to be involved, and not sick. But Susan isn't interested. She's going into a clearly dangerous situation, and she doesn't need any distractions.
But he begs, saying he could get sick on people.
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She heads off into the realm of the Tooth Fairy.
While Susan is off, the wizards continue to try and understand what is going on. With Hex, they work out that naturally humans like to imagine forces at work on the world as seeming and acting human. So the main forces have taken an expected form.
The trouble is that belief is a constant. It is finite set number. So all the belief in the world is eaten up by the main forces. The main gods, Death, Tooth Fairy, Soul Cake Duck, Hogfather, etc. The rest of the forces just continue as pure forces (like getting hangovers).
BELIEF = Primary Gods + Death + Tooth Fairy + Soul Cake Duck + ... + Hogfather + x (x being the tiny piddling bit left for odd little new ideas that catch on)
But what happens when one of your big forces gets knocked out?
Suddenly that x becomes X. Suddenly there is a lot of space for the silly small ideas, like Verruca Gnomes, Hair Loss Fairies, and Oh Gods.
The wizards begin to wonder, is the Hogfather coming tonight?
Now, on to the Tooth Fairy's Castle.
And like Death's House, it is unique.
The exterior of the Tooth Fairy's castle is made up a painting as done by a small child. This emphasizes the fact that this realm is made and maintained by the thoughts, dreams, and ideas of young children.
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It is a place made by and for kids. It is their domain, not adults. This land is for those with innocent hearts.
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Now Susan will meet Teatime.
But let's step out of this part of our tale, and return to Death, who is hard at work trying to maintain the processes of the Hogfather, travelling from home to home, leaving telltale signs of the Hogfather, plus all the presents
It is still all strange to Death. But he is starting to like it. He's getting out of his natural state again (Reaper Man) and it's a nice break for him. He's had to stop on occasion to reap a few souls (like more Tooth Fairy guards), but being able to bring some joy to the world along the way is appealing to him.
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So the Death heads towards a large store in Ankh-Morpork.
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...I wonder if people eat ham on Hogswatch, as a tradition? It'd feel kind of weird, and kind of right. |
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Also in the shop is the manger. He's being played by Tony Robinson. He's quite well known from every version of Blackadder, playing Baldrick. He's also well known for the series Time Team. Robinson is addtionally one of the main narrators of Terry Pratchett audio books.
But, heck, it's a dose of Tony Robinson. Rejoice.
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PETA!!! |
A bolt of electricity runs through the store, and the cute pig statues all explode.
And in there place, Large grumpy hogs, with great tusks appear.
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Hog Punk |
But the manager is pissed off. Someone is trying to sabotage his business!
Then his hired Hogfather appears. He's quitting. Someone has appeared, taken his place, and is doing it all wrong.
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What he finds is a tall gaunt figure, sitting with a child on his lap. Looking into his face, he's left feeling uneasy.
You see, people really can't accept seeing Death. So they just see a very old and thin man. But they do sense that something is up.
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"...and I want an Arya action figure." |
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One is a young girl, who he asks for her desire. Mom steps in to give her own list for her daughter. But Death silences her.
And the daughter lays out what she really wants. An army. A castle. A sword.
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The little girl is thrilled to get the sword. But the mom, the manager, and Albert are troubled.
Death reasons that it is what she wants. It may cut her, but that's what swords are for. And it will teach her about being careful with deadly weapons. Arthur gives Death a quick lecture.
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"...So close to leading that revolution." |
But mom still isn't happy. They aren't girl things. But, more important, she can't afford it all.
This puzzles Death. He's the Hogfather. He's given the gifts. Why would she pay?
The manager is caught in a bind. He has his Hogfather point to gift, that people need to buy. But it is contrary to the actual idea of Hogswatch.
So when Death starts handing away merchandise, the manger's stymied.
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And this leads to the entrance of the City Watch. They are the soldiers and police of the city. They have a long series of books about them. And they have a presence in many stories. They are worth checking out for many odd and funny tales. Start with Guards! Guards!, for their origins.
Many fans have been annoyed by the presentation here. But they act as a bit of comic relief in the tale. But I would be thrilled if they got proper coverage in a movie of their own.
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"Don't worry, sir. I have a cunning plan." |
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It results in him getting an amazing new crossbow. And, he decides it would be best to not arrest him. It wouldn't be in the spirit of the season.
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At one home, he finds no chimney. Just a small stove he can struggle through. It annoys him still, he could just walk through the walls. But Albert insists he stick to the rules.
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Death is touched. All this poverty. But he gets to change things now.
Then Albert steps in.
The rules say the family gets none of the stuff on the list. The kid gets a small apple and a cheap toy.
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"I've always wanted a window pane of my own." |
This just annoys Death off. He's been hearing all the stories and ideas of the Hogfather, but now he's told that actually only the rich and well off actually benefit? He doesn't say it, but he must be thinking that it's bullshit.
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Don't worry. The puppy will eat it's way out. |
But it is a problem of how we talk to kids about Christmas. There is a promise of having their dreams met. And most parents can't make that actually happen. Kids don't seem to care. But there is a disconnect.
Good little kids in poverty don't see much come their way. And our rules say that it's because they must be naughty. But it's because they are poor. That is their crime.
And even in stories,like Santa Claus, Polar Express, etc, it is the unspoken truth. The poor get nothing...except "this time" (like Lucinda in Santa Claus)
Death is having none of this. He's the Hogfather. And he says that this kid, who believes, gets everything that was asked for. And his stocking is suddenly loaded down with gifts and sweets...and a puppy somewhere in there.
And he's off again. And Death is getting more and more into his role. Giving is so much greater than receiving. (Particularly when what you receive are the souls of the dead.)
But duty calls again. He pulls an hourglass from his cloak and sees a person with just moments left to them.
Death has a crazy plan.
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And in Ankh-Morpork, she curls up to die yet again.
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Albert tries to explain to Death that it is a necessary thing. It reminds people of how good they actually do have it. At least they aren't that little girl. Death isn't listening.
He holds up her hourglass, the last grain sitting on the edge. Then he gives the glass a jolt of his power.
And the glass refills. And the little girl stirs.
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It isn't to be done. Death isn't supposed to play like this. Particularly so blatantly. But to Death's thinking, he's acting as the Hogfather. And the Hogfather is a gift giver. The little matchgirl is being given a second chance to live.
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In the book, Death has more Hogswatch run ins. Like a lord forcing his once a year generosity on a poor man who can't handle the gift.
All together, it allows Death to comment on the difference between the spirit of Hogswatch (and Christmas) and how it ends up being practiced. It can pick at the reality many have faced in the season, and the spin people have put on it. He can see the unfairness and twisted nature that sometimes manifest. It is nice to take our customs and put them under a microscope...The Little Matchgirl story has always been messed up.
It is part of the fun of the book and movie, looking at the economics and social truths. And then seeing Death upturn it all to just do the basic job, give some kindness and comfort to good people.
Death is regularly stuck in a crap job. He ferries souls off. He is good at his work. He's fair. He will even bend the rules. But for once, in this story, he gets to play with the rules that usually constrain him in some fun and beneficial ways. He saves lives. He brings smiles. He brings puppies.
And he knows it will just be for this one night, in all his eons of existence.
And many are hanging on the events of this one night. At the Tooth Fairy's castle, Susan is entering the fray, and far above the baddies realize that they aren't alone anymore. Teatime is too busy waiting for the great locked door to be bested to leave, so he sends Chickenwire and Medium Dave to take care of the newcomers.
Chickenwire is getting more and more skittish. The castle affects people. It is a place for kids, and draws on the childish aspects of adults. For bad people, it takes a hold of their fears. For Chickenwire, he's being reminded of a great wardrobe in his childhood home. As a kid it terrified him. And now he feels like it is in the castle, and following him.
Dave is also getting a little jumpy, but holding it together.
But Mr. Sideney? The wizard, as he's felt the pressure build on him, has begun sucking his thumbs. And as he does, he hears the sound of scissors. And he's reminded of the stories of the creature who cuts thumbs off of kids who suck their thumbs. (This is an actual classic European tale!!!)
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Bilious takes to her, as she doesn't drink. (Which means he doesn't get any contact buzz or hangover from her presence.) And she is fascinated to meet a god.
Susan leaves them to wait, while she heads up to the danger.
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Looks like he didn't die with his boot on. |
Susan makes her way to the top, but ends up being surprised by Teatime, who grabs her sword. She's in an awkward situation. As we have already seen, Death is not accepted here. But this also means the powers and province of Death are also barred. So all of Susan's natural gifts were muted when she entered the realm. At long last she is completely normal...except for riding a magic horse, with a god, to reach the land of the Tooth Fairy..But in ALL other ways she is totally normal now.
Teatime has her at sword point, and figures out who she is. He is interested to meet her, but she's more a distraction right now. As he banters with her, Mr. Sideney finally bests the locked door.
Teatime acknowledges this, and tells him he can leave. Sideney makes a quick exit, just wanting to live. But as he runs down the steps, he hears the sound of scissors. They are getting closer and closer. This only causes him to suck his thumbs more. And the sound of the scissors race towards him.
Mr. Sideney is no more.
Teatime continues to stare down Susan, and Susan tries to seek ways to unnerve him, digging at his childhood. But Teatime just focuses on having Banjo get rid of her. He beckons Banjo, and tells him to get rid of her.
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Soon, his mom (and Dave's mom) appears as a ghostly towering figure. Banjo and Dave freak out. Banjo drops to the floor crying. Dave backs away, hoping his mom won't hurt him again.
She reaches out at Dave, and Dave is gone.
Teatime decides to kill Susan, so he grabs her and readies to stab her. But Banjo catches him, and tosses him away. (No touching girls.)
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Yeah, You know all you've done? Piss. Susan. Off. |
[To be fair here, in simplifying this I miss out on a great Susan line. Before, Teatime bragged about how he was in touch with his inner child. So, the place couldn't affect him. So, after he tries to stab Susan here, she tells him, "Hi, inner child. I'm the inner babysitter." And then she punches him, knocking him off.]
And it would be a fall to his death, but after hitting the bottom of the castle, he appears in the Unseen University, in the midst of dining wizards. The curious wizards, end up resuscitating him, and he just runs off, with Death's sword. (Don't worry. We aren't done with him yet.)
Susan now has to deal with Banjo, who is distraught. Everyone in his life who told him what to do is gone. He has no idea what to do now, or where to go. She gives him some reassurance, but now the unlocked door needs addressing.
Inside it seems a very plain room, except for the old bed in the center. And in that bed, an aged granny, tucked up in blankets.
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But Susan isn't having any of that.
That isn't how it works. A being like her wouldn't be that simple a thing.
She demands that it show it's true self to her. So it starts taking shapes. Shapes meant to scare Susan.
Trouble is, this is Susan. What really scares her?
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Boogeymen are meant to go around scaring people, in particular, children. But the first of their kind ran into a problem. She actually came to like the kids. She was actually fond of them. She worried about them, and the things that could hurt them (Like Teatime.). So she created a new function for herself. She would be a protector. She'd take the teeth that kid leave lying everywhere, and keep them out of harms way. (It didn't work out too well, but it's the thought.)
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Susan reassures her, and promises to see to it that the teeth are made safe again. And then the Tooth Fairy is no more.
Stepping out of the room, she sees Banjo waiting, clearing away the teeth and runes.
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"You do know that I'm not The Rock, right?" |
And no one will tell him what to do. But he has one demand. He wants a puppy. He's always wanted one.
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And it is for the best, for Bilious. After the business with the Hogfather finishes, the stray belief will be reallocated. The Hogfather will take it all back. And that means the new beings will no longer...be. So a new job, and the support of Violet, may help keep Bilious from popping back out of existence.
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But it isn't all done, yet.
Some things are still in flux. The existence of the Hogfather is not yet fully assured.
He can still die very easily before sunrise.
So Death takes his granddaughter, up towards the hub, to near where the Castle of Bones once stood.
Out there, she can see a pack of wolves racing down a path. They are chasing prey. A massive boar, running for it's life. Death explains that it is being hunted by the Auditors. Those are the beings that put the hit on the Hogfather. They are so desperate to finally kill him, that they've lowered themselves to actually take living forms to do the job themselves.
You see, the Hogfather has reverted to his original form, the sacrificial animal. And if the Auditors can reach this boar, and kill it, everything will be for naught.
So Susan leaps from Binky onto the back of the boar. She rides it, spurring it on. And when it reaches a cliff, she pushes it to jump across. The boar is hurt in the jump. And the wolves are on the other side of the cliff eyeing the two of them.
Susan gets up and eyes the wolves back, challenging them to come at her. And when one does jump, she hits it with a stick, midflight. It falls down the cliff.
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Down to the village with a scythe in his hand, running here and there all around the square... |
Behind the Auditors, a snowman appears. It is odd as it has a scythe of snow.
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Then the snowman comes apart, revealing Death. A little joke from Death. A dark joke, because Death is pissed.
He chides the Auditors. They were so desperate to pull of their ploy. And now that they've become mortal, it will be so hard for them to ascend again. So he approaches them, pushing them back to the edge of the cliff.
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They are indignant. Death can't touch them. There are rules!
But Death is enraged. Rules? What about all the rules that the Auditors have eschewed this night? They have no right to speak on this.
And Death sends them off the cliff.
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She demands it stay alive, and she weeps for it.
But as she cries, she realizes that the sun is appearing. And standing, she looks at the boar, and sees it change shape.
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He moves away from her and towards the sun, hunched over.
Then he rises to his full height and raises arms, calling out to the sun.
From boar to primitive man to god.
He then walks away and reappears as most of the Discworld know him, Older, beardier, and wearing red.
The Hogfather is reborn.
He gives the two a grumpy look, and a nob. Then he heads off home, to prepare for the next Hogswatch.
This leaves Susan and Death to talk. She wants to know what would have really happen if she'd failed.
The sun wouldn't have risen. A large fiery orb would have circled the world.
It would have been a blow to the thing that makes humans human. They need the lies and traditions and rituals. The little fantastic ideas make the bigger ones possible. Like Justice, Mercy, etc. (As noted before, Death likes humans. He's in awe of them. He's existed since the dawn of man, and is always learning something new and interesting. But humans, who come and go in a flash, have invented the concept of boredom. It all fascinates Death.)
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She goes to start the stove, and leaves Death to have a biscuit. So Death sits and waits.
Then Twyla appears, looking for her Hogswatch stocking. Seeing Death, she warns him that Susan has a poker that she uses on things like him. Death has no idea what to say or do now.
See leaves saying she'll give her brother his stocking, and then come back to watch Susan beat him up.
Eager for Susan to return, Death checks on her. He finds that Teatime is there. He'd come to get revenge on Susan, but is surprised to have Death present. It excites him.
He is wondering if Death's sword could be used on Death.
He tells them how Death is a baddie. But they aren't impressed. He's a bag of bones eating a cookie. Then they mock Teatime for being weird.
And Susan reaches for the trusty poker.
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And at the Tooth Fairy's castle, Banjo has finally gotten a puppy.
THE END.
And, as I wrote at the top of the post, the story of Hogfather is a wonderful one. And this attempt to bring it life is a worthwhile endeavor. The artistry, care, and passion those involved had really translate in the final product.
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And then there is Death. With that character we have two men.
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And together, these actors make you care.
Some people say that for newcomers to Discworld stories will get lost in the movie. I can't agree with that view. This movie was my first serious experience with the Discworld. It introduced me to the world and characters. It made me care about them all.
Yes, the ideas can be odd. Yes, the history behind the characters and places can be deep. But it isn't necessary to learn it all. But it is out there for you to learn about and enjoy.
So I hope you will go and enjoy Hogfather.
UPDATE:
I wanted to add another opinion on Hogfather. From SFDebris, the first of two parts looking at the Movie (See. It isn't easy to look at this take in one go.):
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