The Horror Of...Tales from the Darkside the Movie, In Short

The Halloween season is upon us again. So it's time to peruse your movie shelves, or Netflix, or where ever you dwell...

So here's the first of some new ideas to haunt your October nights, or really any night of the year.


Skulking out of 1990 comes Tales from the Darkside the Movie.

The movie has a name drawn for the preceding 80's TV series of the same name. It was an anthology series focused on horror. Ironically, the show was inspired by the success of another fun horror anthology movie, Creepshow. ...I'll have to get to that movie later in the month.

This movie is, like the show, an anthology.


The wraparound used for these stories in the attempts of a woman to prepare a meal for a special event.

The lady is played by Deborah Harry, of Blondie fame.

It's just a nice normal day in a nice normal town.

Of course there is a twist. On the menu is little boy. I hear they taste of snails and puppy dog tails.

Don't worry. It's one of the Lawrence Brothers. (Matthew Lawrence.) They respawn from 80's sitcoms faster than Baldwin brothers.

The woman's name is Betty, and seeing as she's eager to cook up a little kid, you can quickly surmise that she is a witch.

And she's running short on time to finish a dinner for her friends/coven.

The kid, Timmy, has other plans, and plans to use a book she left for him to accomplish them.

Hey, see the tie to the movie's title?

So he starts trying to dstract her with a good scary story.

And this witch can't resist a scary story.

So the movie begins in earnest. Their are 3 stories told in the movie.

"Lot 249"

The story follows Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, ...

and Christian Slater, at his Christian Slaterest
.

Into there lives comes a mummy. And the wackiness ensues!

Granted, death and mayhem follow. The mummy is on the move, but what is driving it to kill?

This was first a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story. If that story works out similarly to this segment, I may have to read it. I definitely have a soft spot for Lot 249 and it's ensemble.


"Cat from Hell"

The next story takes a dark turn, into the night at a large old manor. A taxi pulls up and a very serious David Johansen gets out.

He's been hired by William Hickey to do a job for him. He now lives alone in this great house. He once was surrounded by family. But they are all dead and gone now. He blames one thing for this...

The Cat!

It is an interesting tale of how allegedly this cat brought about the death, one by one, of everyone who lives in the house. Now the last one standing wants to finally best the infernal beast.

And the hunt is on.

This tale was originally written by Stephen King. It was then adapted here by George Romero. It passed through some notable hands. May it serve your entertainment needs well.

This story reminds me of another film with a similar concept, The Shadow of the Cat. ...I will have to get a review of that in this October.


"Lover's Vow"

The last story shared is one of a down on his luck artist. He, James Remar, is meeting with his agent, Rob Klein. He's getting bad news. Nobody likes his art, and his agent is dumping him.

Flat broke, his night isn't going to get better. He drinks until he passes out, then gets kicked out when the bar closes. To cap the night he goes to piss on a wall.

That leads him to see a man attacked and torn apart.

The murderer is a monster of some sort.

Now his life takes a sudden turn. A turn for the what though?

This story also has Rae Dawn Chong in it!


So what will the mummy do? What won't the cat do? And what do little boys taste like, with a side of roasted potatoes?

You'll have to find out on your own. (You could invite someone over to watch with you, if you're scared.)