Luckily, this is the point this movie starts getting to work. We will have to see what we make of it as the horror ramps up, the death toll begins, and our main cast starts slipping to the Dark Side.
Anyway...Last Time On, The Midnight Hour!
Our gang of wayward "teens" came up with the brilliant Halloween jape of breaking into the Witch Museum. And this, in a town that has an actual history of a witch, a curse, and a near cataclysm. How much worse could this get?
They steal the outfits of the witch and the witch hunter. And then they swipe chest full of artifacts. How much worse...
Then they go the city graveyard, dress up, and start mocking the witch's acts, ending with Melissa (Lucinda's, the witch, descendant) reading out her curse from a sealed scroll they found.
That it guys? You want to piss on some graves while your at it? (I've seen that movie.) They are just slapping karma in the face at this point. But, hey. They are kids, young and alive...for now.
The gang run off, and leave the graveyard to it's quiet. But the quiet does not last.
Things are stirring now, deep in the earth. That which shall never wake again, have been awoken.
We see the graves of one reviled person, and that of Lucinda Cavendar.
Does this make "Vernon Nestor" his nickname? |
So which 8th grade class made this tombstone? |
Wait. They killed a witch, and then, they buried her in a consecrated grave...? Puritanical Pitchford was really progressive about their witch killing.
Vernon Nestor is ready to rise.
Hey, If you hold it in that many years... |
I think they've just taken fantasy weddings to far. |
The collection that arises is an interesting mix.
You have your...werewolf? I...I guess it's supposed to be a demonic being. Hey. If you go back to The Wolf Man, it is all about pentagrams and turning the good to evil.
Then you've got this guy...He's...He just seems happy to be up and about. He'll be our comedy undead being for a stretch of this movie. He'll be going around being...undead in a silly manner. You'll see...Oh, you'll see.
Another odd one that pops out is this fellow. He's small and just has a distinctive face. I like him, and he'll also prove to have some humorous moments. Honestly, some of these undead folk seems to be back mostly to blow off some steam.
But what is he? He could just be short. But something about him suggests otherwise. And the fact he rose from the spot a tree collapses off of makes we think he may have been on an express elevator from Hell. (I'm not calling him an evil leprechaun!)
Is he an imp? He's a dapper one then. |
Though with him, and a witch, around, The Undead has to come to mind. But let's not go there.
And then we have Sandy. She's our confused cheerleader. She's back and not sure what is going on.
She also comes back a little disheveled, covered in...cobwebs...or...
...Well, Lucinda comes out in a similar state, wiping it from her head. Maybe it's an effect that shows more on them since they are the most normal looking of the undead...
...I do kind of want to ponder what they are covered in, but then I start considering the processes a body goes through when it...ceases. And I'm figuring none of us are here to hear about that.
"This is really embarrassing, but I'm stuck part way out of my coffin. Yes, ha ha. I should have lost more weight while I was in Hell. Could you just get me out of here!" |
And as they do mill, more crypts come open. And in at least one these is an odd sight. All around this crypt bodies lie in the open, scattered around. Then they awaken and rise to join their brethren.
Honestly, I am curious what the story there is. How did they end up like that? I wish we were going to find out.
Never eaten a vegetable. |
"Really? This is my army?" |
Some pushed on by their evil intents. Some pushed on by their unresolved lives. But it is all to be found in Pitchford.
"Everyone! Remember where you were buried." |
"Mom! This is NOT the Tooth Fairy I wanted to dress as!" |
That is the worst Sesame Street Count ever. |
I wasn't cool in the 80's, but really? Silver party hair. Blue face, with a V-shape. Count Dracula outfit.
Hey, I guess it is original...And it will haunt my dreams...
"How is Family Circus still being published?" |
He's been, up to this point, wandering down the street growling impotently at kids passing him. He then grabbed a newspaper up somewhere. He started reading it, and this led him to wander behind the car and get hit. He acts shocked and pissed. Then he indignantly stuffs the paper under his arm and shambles off.
"Excuse me, sir. Would you like a copy of the Watchtower?" |
Phil is too distracted, and dense, to care. So he drives off.
"Dad! No one wants to hear about your pod people theories." |
He's actually pissed in more than one way. He's drunk. And he's belligerent. It's not hard to imagine that the costume is his latest reason to tear into his son.
And you get a sense of what Mitch is about. He's got the letterman jacket. He's loud and brash. But how much of it all is a reaction to his law and order dad, who comes home, gets drunk, gripe, then pushes him around? I may be making a number of assumptions, but it's clear their is something unhealthy here. (And I want to figure if I have a reason to sympathize with his character.)
Dad wants everything returned. He doesn't want this business getting out. And he promises that if he's caught, he'll give him the maximum sentence he can. And Mitch just runs out of the house, to get away from his Dad.
Kids? If you see this on Halloween, seek an adult out for help. |
Let's see:
- Train track.
- Rail crossing warning of an incoming train.
- Approaching her from behind.
- Nuzzling her.
"Boy. I picked the wrong guy to ask for directions." |
Once he tells her it's Halloween, she seems to get a better sense about what is happened to her. She gets what's happening overall, at least to a limited extent (as far as her return, and the power of Halloween night). She seems clued in. But, she also seems to fancy Phil as well. Odd.
"Now this is a great costume. But you don't have to take my word for it." |
Mitch pulls up outside, as several kids TP the trees in front of the house. (That's what happens when you don't bring back Reading Rainbow to talk about Harry Potter!) He tells Vinnie that he looks like a delicatessen, but also admits to being troubled by the fight with his dad. The two drive off to the party, and Mitch can smell how bad an ideas Vinnie's costume really is.
Don't worry. They'll just crack open a pod, and he'll be right back. |
Now Vernon moves towards the house, and mom.
Finally, we get to the Big Halloween Party, at the Cavendar house. And it's a nice house. The Cavendars are definitely doing well.
At the party Mitch is walking around grabbing popcorn from a coffin, High Fiving people, and trying to be the life of the party. Melissa comes rocking down the stairs. She's enjoying a good party. And at the door she meets our comedy cadaver, and let's him in the house to mingle.
Even the undead can't believe he came dressed like that. |
Outside the house, Lucinda watches the goings on. And you wonder what she is making of this. This is what became, after her time, the ancestral home of her family. It is where her blood resides still. What does that mean to her?
Only now does Phil realize how lame a costume he chose. |
Phil still senses no danger.
He never understood why whispering, "Let me take a look at your dilithium matrix", never got him anywhere with women. |
Also at this party is the substitute teacher, from the class earlier in the movie. She's here "chaperoning" the party. A kid's house party. Sure. She comes over to Melissa, as she is curious about if there's any wine "available for adult" (and she more or less winks at that). ...You're the creepy teacher that likes hanging with the kids, aren't you?
The positive of that scene is that it's a chance to witness the dance stylings of LeVar Burton, as he dances in place while Melissa and the teacher talk. He is an artist.
Before and... |
...After: How can you be turned into a werewolf, but have less hair on your face? |
At the party Mary finally arrives. Phil is eager to see her. But she is more concerned about talking to Melissa, and finding out about a guy dressed up like Frankenstein ('s Monster -- I am Mr. Pedantic!).
"Come on! Why is no one taking Disco Dracula seriously?" |
Phil? She shows no romantic interest in you. She's continually interested in other guys. She treats you like a friend. And she's interested in other guys. She just likes talking and joking with you. And she's interested in other guys...Are you seeing a pattern here?
Dude. Just accept it. She's just a friend. Move on.
The two girls run off to the powder room, and Phil is left alone. (No doubt he'll go on now to invent to word "friendzone", and complain about the fate of the nice guy.)
At the same time, the short ghoul is also settling in, and having a good time . He also keeps bumping into Phil.
Imagine how many diseases he's carrying. (I'm talking about Phil.) |
"Ugh...Women. You can't live with them, but you can drag them to Hell with you." |
"Have you tried Orville Deadenbacher? |
It's the most relaxed Infernal Onslaught ever!
But Lucinda is getting ready to change that. (Slowly, of course.)
She appears in the large bathroom they have upstairs. And watches as Melissa and Mary talk and fix up Mary's costume. She just silently stares at them.
When Mary leaves, and Melissa is alone. She approaches, and praises her costume (and Lucinda's old clothing). Melissa explains that it's been in the family for awhile.
You wonder what Lucinda sees. Is it her dress, stolen? Or, her furthest descendant?
She slowly approaches closer and closer, staring at Melissa and her neck. (...Is that a witch thing?) But Mary pops in and the girls run back down to the party.
"Come on! Get with me! I'm Geordi!" "That's the problem." |
"I think I might...kill...for a drop." |
Melissa heads into the wine cellar of the house to grab more bottles. While she's there, Lucinda appears again. They talk about what is best for drinking, and Lucinda has an answer.
Red.
Coming this Fall: Lucinda, the Vampire Witch. |
...Wait. Is she a vampire? I thought she was a witch...
Now some people are rationalizing this as the method she used to preserve herself for centuries. But then Sandy could be a vampire to, by that logic. What makes more sense is the demonic hellish catchall. In old traditions, it was believed that those who were corrupted by the Devil would rise again after death, often as vampires (Hence staking bodies in their graves, to keep them down.). It seems the easiest explanation.
I don't think this is what Enoch Powell meant. But it's how much he drank before writing that speech. |
And this is why you have to drink wine before it spoils. |
I should also note they use a more family friendly visual during the attack, for the drinking of blood. As Melissa tries to fight off Lucinda, she hits different rows and bottles of wine, knocking them open, spraying red wine everywhere.
It pools on the floor. It sprays about. It seems a safe approach for 80's prime time TV. And it could be argued to be somewhat artistic.
When Lucinda reappears, she is far paler, now coming off as more the vampire. And this is how she'll be looking the rest of the movie. I am guessing that they wanted to hide her vampirism, until she struck.
Oh, this always ends well. |
Also, Melissa reappears, now with the wide eyes of evil. And, much to Vinnie's surprise, she's eager to see him and be with him.
And Mary is dancing with "Frankenstein".
"Dude! Even you have a date?!" |
"Finally! Everything is coming up Geordi!" |
Melissa finally makes her move on Vinnie, taking him aside.
As they make out, Melissa sinks her teeth into Vinnie, and drains him. She leaves him slumped dead on a couch and moves on.
Back with Sandy, she's finally found Maple Street. But she's distraught that she can't find her house, or anything she remembers. Everything is so foreign and alien now. So she just wanders around more.
Still avoiding Elm Street, hmm? |
"We could just check it out..." NO! |
"You know, this is nothing like Buck Rogers." |
Instead she decides to try and create some fun, even if this age sucks. So she gets Phil to put the top of his car down, so they can cruise. Then she gets him to race another car. It's a regular 50's mish mash.
"You really think you're going to say no?" |
Then she suggest they check out Look Out Point. ...He's not refusing that idea.
So people come here to look out for... trout? |
Good news. The car top is fully up now. |
And they quickly get interrupted by a werewolf. Way to ruin the mood, Fido.
Dogging done wrong. |
And...
Hah! Hah...cough...cough...cough...I got to stop doing that.
Later today. The finale of The Midnight Hour.
Who will live, who will die? Will it be at all clear?
And, how do you solve a problem like an Undead Army?
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